Make the implicit in your teaching explicit through reflection
Bouncing off my last post on reflection I would like to talk a little about reflecting in specific situations with the team (teacher parent student). As I mentioned, the most successful reflection needs to be done with everyone in the team in various combinations: parent and teacher; teacher and student; parent and student and, lastly, the whole team.
In any of these combinations, the perfect times for the team to start learning how to reflect together are after the highs and during (and after) the lows. This is where you can intentionally squeeze the most value from any situation.
Reflecting on the Highs
It’s so important that teachers don’t forget to look back on the good times to energise the future. As a teacher, I take a lot of time to reflect on successes with my students and their families- and why shouldn’t I? Everyone in the team has worked so hard! Often these amazing times are fleeting, with a long, long build up of hard work, sacrifice, dedication and discipline. It’s fun to spin them out a bit and enjoy them!
It’s so important that teachers don’t forget to look back on the good times to energise the future.
Successes obviously can encourage parents and students- so allow these times of reflection to do this! I constantly ask my students in lessons what they think they did well in (at least 3 things). Then I ask them what they think they could improve on for next time (again at least 3 things). Doing it in this order is incredibly powerful as most students have an almost impossible time coming up with things that they do well in (I will talk more about this in a later post).
It takes time (and practice) to convince students that they are not being boastful or over-confident with these positives. Successful times are fantastic for students to start learning how to honestly appraise themselves, and we can all agree that this is an invaluable skill for them to take into their future!
Reflecting on the Lows
I have found that lows often go on longer than highs and that moving through these times cannot be done successfully without reflection. This is hard because reflecting on the lows is much more challenging. Here are 8 things I have noticed working with students and parents through rough patches:
1- It is imperative that students understand that it’s completely normal to go through rough patches. That’s life and what is most important is how and what you learn from it!
2- Movement through the lows is done through positive momentum. Stringing even a few of the smallest positives in a row gets this going. You only need the tiniest of sparks to get a fire going! Make a big deal of these successes to parents, students, and yourself — and do it out loud, acknowledging everyone in the team.
3- Involve the student as much as possible in conversations. Of course during these lows there will be times where you need to have frank and to-the-point conversations with just the parents. Do it. This is really important, but it is equally important to include the student so that they feel like they are being talked to not talked about.
4- Create a safe place for everyone to talk openly- this is so important. Keep in mind that this is a very sensitive time for everyone and one small situation can be taken entirely differently by everyone in the room, no matter what the age. In this safe place you can get everyone’s views out into the open and the Heavy Grey Cloud of Misinterpretation and Assumptions that was overhead can pass, bringing back the Clear Skies of Understanding!
5- Celebrate the student’s strengths! Now is the time to discuss their awesome points and keep stress to a minimum with goals. Get students to write down good points about themselves and their music.
6- When bringing up the sensitive topics, talk with and listen to the student. Do it calmly, genuinely, positively and with understanding. Even if students and parents aren’t comfortable bringing up uncomfortable topics I have found that as a teacher you must. If you don’t understand where someone is coming from stay calm and seek more information. Reality is created between the team, not held in any one person alone. Show them that these topics are ok to talk about, that no one is going to judge them for what they have to say and that different views are encouraged (in fact, they’re normal).
7- After the lows have passed, you can turn these times into something majorly positive for students and their families. Point out how much progress has been made as individuals, as a family, as a team. Talk about how awesome they are and how proud they deserve to be of themselves.
8- The above takes time. That is all. Be patient with yourself!
Reflecting on those tricky moments where not everyone agrees on whether it is a success…
The tricky events to reflect on are the ones where you, as a teacher, think differently to the student. Perhaps a student could have done better but they are happy with themselves or perhaps a student is unhappy with a great performance- the second, sadly, happens so much more often. The most important thing here is to give the student space to feel what they are feeling.
If the student is proud of themselves, don’t rain on their parade if you think they could have improved with, say, a better lead up or more character in their playing. Let their happiness, pride in themselves, and confidence have some space. Pouncing on a student’s emotions when they feel good and giving them a rant about how it wasn’t good enough will, without doubt, completely shatter confidences and bring much self-doubt into the situation and future.
The most important thing […] is to give the student space to feel what they are feeling.
If a student is shattered by their performance, this is where the trust that you have developed with them over time will come into play- big time. Take the time to go over everything with them calmly, the good and not so good things, put it in some perspective and, again, give them space to feel what they are feeling. Telling them to ‘get over it’ or ‘stop crying in public’ or giving them a serving for not practising hard enough (I have seen all of these happen) is simply not helpful.
There is a time and a place for a good ‘what have we learned’ talk and that time is not when a student is really upset in public, no matter how embarrassed you feel as a parent and/or teacher.
Interestingly, I have found that if a student is provided the space to reflect on a situation in the same way as above (3 good things first followed by 3 things to improve on) and is given as few prompts as possible from the parent or teacher, then they most often come up with what you were going to say anyway. And the fact that they have come up with it themselves is more powerful than anything you could ever say to them!
Allowing a student to come up with these improvements themselves in their own time is vital to empowering them with honest self-awareness, inner confidence and the love of music.
What reflecting affords me personally…
I know I have talked A LOT about reflection in my last 2 posts but it is highly undervalued and completely underestimated.
Taking the time to constantly reflect brings so much more value into my teaching and, therefore, my life. I watch proudly as my students turn their massive amounts of positive momentum into increased motivation to strive for their goals. I notice them focussing harder for longer periods of time in their lessons. I see them improving in self awareness- not only in their playing but also in their behaviour. I see students and their parents become more trusting with me which I absolutely do not take for granted and feel so grateful for. I can hear that my students and parents feel empowered through positive discussions where successes are given space. I see them grow stronger emotionally and guide themselves more smoothly through rough patches. Discussions get more interesting as they have more to say because they feel safe, listened to, and can practice stringing thoughts together out loud. Parents and students get on better in and out of lessons as everyone has a voice that is listened to.
I see my teaching doing exactly what I want it to do — -and that is to make them not depend on me to move forward in the world and be awesome people and musicians. They can do it themselves.