Opening the Door to Life’s Weirds and Wonderfuls

The value of educating through exploring off-the-topic questions

The other day, a colleague of mine said to me that when she gets the “big life questions” randomly from her piano students she doesn’t answer the questions but glances over to the parent with a “this is your job” look.

Imagine if teachers saw this a bit differently? What if these questions were treated as the rare golden nuggets of opportunity that they may actually be? For myself, I see that answering these questions can create an enormous amount of positivity that can flow into the student’s life and their music, their family’s life and the teacher’s life. Starting a discussion from a student’s ‘what’s it all about’ question can get them sharing information about their world in a way that perhaps they haven’t had the opportunity to do before and these conversations can be the fuel for wonderful ideas not only from students but also parents. Instead of dreading them or glossing over them, I cherish these moments and I do all I can to allow my students the space to ask these questions in the first place.

These questions are the most brilliant way to develop the student-teacher relationship. They open the door just a crack to untapped potential and, as a teacher, you have a choice here- to close the door and seal yourself away or let the door swing wide, take a chance and see where the discussion leads!

There aren’t many people outside family that kids can ask the weird and wonderful life questions to and, even if they do have people they can ask, they rarely get a chance what with life being so busy. Also, with a school system that discourages questioning and encourages compliancy and parroting back information, these moments get even rarer. The brilliant thing about one-on-one music lessons is that they can relax students to a point where they feel like asking all sorts of questions regarding the world and discussing them keeps their imagination and indiviual thought process alive.

What better way is there to help students grow as people than to discuss their life around their music?

These young people will have to face up to these questions themselves at different points in their lives and what better way to prepare them for these times than having a go at answering them yourself and being honest? What better way is there to help students grow as people than to discuss their life around their music? Music then becomes the most amazing tool by which students get to know more about the world and themselves.

Attempting to answer off-the-topic questions shows a student that the teacher is there for them as a person, not just as a music student.

Even though some may seem off topic, answering these questions (or at least attempting to) starts a dialogue that is outside the realm of simply learning notes and it deepens understanding between two people. It gets a teacher learning more about the student and vice versa. Having a go (however brief) at patiently answering questions shows a student that their words are valued and this demonstration of care will, in turn, enable that student to value a teacher’s words. Attempting to answer off-the-topic questions shows a student that the teacher is there for them as a person, not just as a music student. This is exactly the rapport a teacher needs with their students, especially for the times when students are asked to take risks, accept challenges or expected to practice things they don’t particularly want to practice. These discussions are literally building up a Trust Fund one little bit of trust at a time, saving for the more uncomfortable, riskier times.

Of course there are questions that come up at inopportune moments so, if it is not the time to answer, make sure they know that their question is loved and valued and then arrange to discuss it another time. Sometimes I will write down the comment in front of a student to show that it does matter to me and that I genuinely love it.

I have had questions asked innocently but could be taken as very blunt or even rude. For example, I have had a lot regarding how much money I earn and the size of my house. I have heard teachers take offence to these questions and reprimand their students. But you know what? I answer these questions too! — and then patiently explain that the question is fine with me (because they didn’t say it to cause harm) but with other people it might be taken a different way.

As a teacher, the best part of being asked these questions is being able to ask them right back and the answers I have received have ranged from being gob-smackingly beautiful to completely hilarious! I definitely learn so much about my student (and myself) in these times.

So the next moment you get caught off guard with a question from way left field perhaps, instead of brushing it to one side, what about you jump in and have a go at answering? You might be surprised as to what can be learnt about this human sitting next to you.